Back on "the Boat"

Well, it is that time of year when my fellow Buckeyes and I take a step back and breathe. We have just made it through ten weeks of the worst time of the year in Ohio and survived, although some of us may have some battle wounds due to the icy conditions of the off-campus landscape. It still puzzles me that a city which has seen record snowfalls for the last 3 or so winters can still underestimate what winter can bring. I'm from the edge of the snow-belt so I am always prepared to brace these bitter conditions, though I'm never thrilled about it. But what is worse than the snow and ice itself is the way it makes us all feel like we are powerless in our own environment. I know it's not like the Arctic Tundra but no one wants to walk to house parties (which become twice as crowded because only the smokers care to hang out outside) or bars that aren't in a 5 block radius. Even going to class becomes a chore in the winter. If you don't live on 4th Street or anywhere on Summit south of Lane Ave. you are really taking a gamble waiting for the CABS bus because most likely it's going to pass you by. Now, if you live on 15th and Indianola and you're catching the bus, well, I don't mean to offend, but is it really that difficult to walk one block to safer conditions?

But now it is the day before the official Spring Equinox, winter quarter is over, and if you stand by a window and open your ears and concentrate, you can hear the sighs of relief and screams of rage (good rage, that is) because the worst 11 weeks of the year are in the past. The weather is finally an upper instead of a downer, and if you're lucky like me, you get to go bask in the rays of some warmer destination. I don't think anyone could be more excited about it than I am. There have been so many things I've wanted to write about. Like how awesome OSU basketball is right now, or I'm blown away by the fact that accounting sucked so bad. And let's not leave out how the Browns' quarterback situation reminds me of a third-world government that changes faster than Josh Cribbs can run a 98 yard kick-off return for a touchdown. What sucked even more was that my last final was on St. Patrick's Day. Okay, you're probably thinking, ah that's not bad. How about the fact that it was at 7:30 pm.? Alright, you care a little more. Oh yes, and it was accounting 310, the most annoying class to every single person in the business minor. Now you definitley feel like you wanna buy me a shot next time you see me out. But now that that's done, I've begun packing for my long awaited trip to Panama City Beach, the mecca of all spring break hot-spots. This will be my second year on PCB so I'm definitely no virgin to its intensity, but everyone else I'm going with is and has no idea what's about to be in store. So to pass the time before we leave I've decided to take a second to reflect on last year's trip and why it made it the best week of my life thus far, the things I think I'll do differently, and the things that can never be topped.

I'll start from the beginning-the drive down. I felt like it never was going to end, like we were just going to keep going forever and ever and ever. Not too mention I got to know my anxiety issues a little too well. After about two hours in when we reached Kentucky I all of a sudden felt like I was about to drive off the face of the earth because I could not see anything but pavement and blackness. I started getting light-headed and almost fainted. Good thing there were no cars on the road or my intense swerving would have killed us all. I recall telling my friend that was in the passenger's seat that I was "tweeking out" (a term that I've only ever heard stoners use) and pulled off on the side of the road. So this year, I decided that in order to allow my friends and I to see our next birthdays. I will not be driving until it is daylight.

Speaking of birthdays, mine just so conveniently falls on spring break every year. Last year, I got to celebrate my coveted 21st and by the time I left, every single person I met knew me as "21". I seriously was on cloud nine every single day for the entire week. This moment will never be topped. This year I turn 22 and I am just as excited, but it's a different kind of excitement for sure. I am only going with 3 other girls as opposed to like 30 people from last year. This might create less drama throughout the week, but, come to think of it, the only drama I had I don't remember so we could argue that it never happened. I do know that one of my best friends that was with us went off on me and I'm really glad I don't remember it because it might have ruined the rest of my trip. This madness occured because I mysteriously got black-out drunk the day after my birthday and somehow made it back to our hotel by myself. I also have a number in my phone named "Joe-Spinnakers?". I don't know this person but I remember the next night he insisted on meeting up with me but I didn't know what he looked like. That was probably-no it was most definitley for the best. Any guy who still wants to meet up with a girl after she blatantly says she doesn't remember what he looks like is a skeez. The only reason why he is still in my phone is for a good laugh and a reminder of my stupidity. I just thank God and my friends at the bar that nothing horrible happened to me. So the second thing I have decided I will do differently is to not black out. Which means no tequila. Bummer. Oh well, if it's for my safety then I can sacrifice.

I think the best thing about PCB was how everyone had this "Anything goes" attitude. I feel like I have that attitude a lot so it was nice to see other people enjoying my same love for life. Some enjoyed it a little too much and probably did some things that I would never do. I may like to have fun but I have morals. So I will definitely be sticking to those just as much this time as I did the last. But seriously, everyday was just more than a big beach party, it was absolute mayhem. I will say that I never really got that drunk during the day because I was more concerned with my tan and meeting up with friends along the beach. Night time was a different story. We tried to hit up a bunch of different bars but Harpoon Harry's and Sweet Dreams Karaoke felt like home by the end of the week. Harpoon Harry's is just like most of the clubs along the beach but Sweet Dreams Karaoke was in a league of its own. It was a dive bar connected to a liquor store and karaoke was involved. How many people can say they did that on their 21sts? Suckas.

Now that I'm back on the 21st birthday topic, I'd like to take a moment and talk about the progression of the event. The midnight portion started out like everyone's midnight portion: me swearing up and down that I wasn't gonna get that drunk because I wanted to save it all for my actual birthday. Ha. yeah, like anyone ever does that. What was supposed to be just the girls in my room going out ended up us plus a group of guys who showed up in my room, one of whom I thought stole my phone. Turns out he just had the same light blue chocolate. One of the girls we were with knew one of those guys so they tagged along. And man am I glad they did. These 7 dudes were the funnest and funniest group of guys I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.As soon as we got to the bar one of them decided he was gonna be my partner in crime and ended up getting people to not only buy me a shot buy one for him too. That's like me in man version right there. I was wasted by midnight. Happy Birthday. In fact, by the end of it I was screaming "I'm 21! I'm on a boat". Now that's where the nickname 21 started. Nothing will top that. Ever.

The next day was my actual birthday and the first day I really drank a lot on the beach. It was also the first day I ever played Louiseville Chugger, the game that combines baseball, chugging, and spinning. One of my friends who wasn't with me on the trip, always raved over this game and after playing it, I was completely shocked that I never took part in this activity before. What was even better was that it was in the sand, making it ten times more difficult to spin. So this year, I will be buying bats and doing it all over again, hoping to make someone's day by introducing them to a new drinking activity, or reuniting them with an old one. I will also be making a return trip to Mikato, the first and only Japanese steak house I've ever been to. I got to blow out a volcano of onions instead of candles on a cake and had a drink called a Happy Buddha. It literally came in a Buddha, which I am now the proud owner of.

Side note, Ohio State is dominating this first half against UC Santa Barbara which makes me feel like tonight is going to be a good night. I would also like to thank the OU Bobcats for completely causing the upset of all upsets thus far and possibly giving us a bigger chance to go to the final four.

Anyways, one of the suckier things for a wannabe sports writer on spring break is that it can be a bit difficult to watch March Madness. The big games I might get to see but I'll probably be too drunk to care, unless of course it's an OSU game. Then I need to remember to get to a TV.

Another side note, CBS sports announcer just talked about how Jon Diebler is from Upper Sandusky and was like "That's where Tommy Boy was filmed". Fail. A, it was in regular Sandusky, where Cedar Point is, and B, it wasn't even filmed there. That just made me laugh, so much for credibility in this profession.

Also, every Bud Light commercial gets me even more pumped for this trip. Alcohol flows like a river in PCB. It never runs out, anywhere. People actually get kegs and put them in the sand which is a beautiful site. Prices are so much cheaper down there than in Ohio, too. If we had those prices on campus, either people would have a lot of extra money in their pockets, or they would buy even more alcohol than they already do. It's a win-win either way. And if you don't have a drink in your hand you automatically become the awkward pink elephant in the room, er, well, on the shore. The point is, you look awkward and no one wants to be THAT person. And, bars in PCB are open until 4 am. It's like the party never ever stops and I love it. It probably takes years off of people's lives but it's so worth the sacrifice to be able to experience it. I think I only stayed out that late one time other than my birthday though, which was the last night. That night was the perfect ending to the perfect trip. We ended up meeting up with the guys from my birthday night which made it a sure thing that the night was not going to be dull. The funniest part about it, at least I thought, was that we all looked like shit. My hair was so frizzed out I looked like I just got shocked by high voltage electricity. And my friend decided she didn't need make up, at least at first. She's the type of person that just doesn't care about what she looks like in public half the time and I love it. But this night she all of a sudden felt the need to go get dolled up. I thought it to be a little weird for her but it all made sense when I was talking to one of the guys and he kept asking where she went and if she was coming back. I don't know what took so long for a light bulb to go off in my head but I realized she was putting make up on to impress him. They've been together pretty much ever since, give or take a few months of the usual figuring out your feelings B.S. I wish I could make a movie about them called Love and Panama, you know, like Love and Basketball...okay no that's not going to happen but it would be pretty funny if I tried to make the attempt

I also hit it off with one of the guys from the fun group. Not really sure exactly how it happened especially because I don't remember even talking to him on my birthday but whatever, I don't remember a lot from my birthday. I won't say too much about him in case he reads this and I wouldn't want to embarass him but he's one of the coolest guys I've ever met and I'm glad I did. So I guess unless I end up marrying some random dude, Hangover style, nothing will beat that.

Sidenote number three, I really hope my friends would never let me have a black out wedding because if that happened I might as well wear a big sign that reads "dumbass" on my head.

Now, as I sit here and look at the clock I wish it would fast forward to 3 am, our scheduled departure time. OSU is killing UCSB so the only thing entertaining about this game at this point is how every time they say "Gaucho" I think "Guido", which there are tons of of in Panama. (I mean this in totally Jersey Shore terms and in no way, shape, or form mean it in the derogitory context). The ultimate Guido, Mike, "the Situation" is going to be down there so you can bet that I will in some way, shape or form attempt to be one of THOSE girls that wants to party with him, only to further inflate his ego. Whatever, if someone wanted to pay me money to be filmed on vacation for a reality show I would probably do it. Only on vacation though, I don't think I want my real life on display for all to see. That just has "famewhore" written all over it.

The only thing truly keeping getting me to pass the time is writing this blog and drinking a big sugar-free redbull. I still have more than half the can to finish but I don't have much more left to write this nonsense. I have a lot more stories but I feel that these were the highlights and lessons that I need to remind myself of this time around. I hope that the things I set out to NOT do I don't do, but if I do, then it will make for interesting material for the post-party blog. I also hope that "I'm On a Boat" plays all the time again because it just won't be Panama for me if it doesn't. So, no matter what you're getting into, (though if you aren't going somewhere fun I may or may not secretly think you're lame) I wish everyone a safe and fun spring break. We all earned this week of freedom from obligations. And if you are a senior like me, live it up because it could very well be the last one you get.

Peace, love, and T-Pain :)